The Appeal Of a Sonic Screw Driver.

Well...it had to happen.
I am divorced and remarried.
The cupboard doors remained un fixed so McGyver had to go. He was booted out last night after I had been out with the girls. It was his last chance to redeem himself and he failed. Despite feeling pleasantly replete after a delicious dinner and amusing conversation (is that a mole on your face????) I still was annoyed enough by his lack of action to give him the old heave ho. So...............................my new imaginary husband is Dr Who.......the new incarnation, not one of the old crusty ones. Rose...his Pop Tart side kick is banned from the house and while I understand they have to continue to work together he is on a curfew and I am thinking of installing a monitoring system in the Tardis. She is overly fond of cuddling him. The Dr never has "relations" with the side kick - so she is wasting her time!!!!!!
He is so cute...and soooooooooooooooooooooooo good with the sonic screw driver that all my cupboard worries should soon be over. He is a master of accents so we can reinact scenes from A Fish Like Wanda ( 'cept I'm 3 times the woman that Jamie Lee Cutis is ...literally) and he knows his way around mostly spherical, wierd,universal bodies!!!!! And we can travel back in time and make every weekend several days longer than anyone elses.

In other news- the limoncello remains captive...and is suffering from increasingly lower spirits. If the ransom isn't paid soon it will be a poor ,sad , empty vessel and no good to anyone!!!!! I, on the other hand, will be crabby, hung over and muffin poor (excluding afore mentioned new stud muffin)
So get your act together 2paw. The ransom is slightly changed how ever so listen closely. Muffins....non sequential and unmarked apart from proper cream cheese/lemon icing with limoncello lemon curd inside. Got that ?
I will be in contact soon...be ready ......Jack Bauer will be required to deliver the payment to ensure it arrives intact within 24 hours!!!!!

Pay Up Or.......

The Limoncello gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is a hostage situation.

For the moment it is safe but in order to secure the release of your friend I will require payment of non sequential muffins in small chocolate denominations. No tracing or tracking devices are to be included because I might choke on one.Largish choc chunks will be acceptable

The ransom should be delivered by 9pm any night this week by THE Doctor.

He can use his sonic screwdriver . (actually I had a lot more to say on this point but I think the sentence stands on its own!!!!!!)

There is plenty of Tardis parking in the backyard and so long as that pop tart Rose doesn't come with him all will be well, and the limoncello will be returned to you, more or less in the same condition ( give or take a few mls) as it was when you left.

Needless to say things aren't going well with the MacGyver relationship...I think the mullet has finally got to me and since in our entire marriage he hasn't put the garbage out once ...or fixed one sodding cupboard door in the kitchen!!! I think a divorce is on the way.

There may have been a few necessary experiments carried out on the prisoner ...so you better hurry. It is , indeed, excellent in vodka but not so terrific in Chardonnay...but I will choke it down. (Did someone say it is wino night on Tuesday????I think I will cope.)

This is the last contact we will have on this matter...pay up or I will drink up.

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To Have A Blog....

Don't you need a life...to have a blog I mean.
Yup.
I have no life.
It is quite a satisfying little non life but it leaves little to blog about this week. 2paw will have given the details of her birthday dinner ( she is a blog info hog) so I have only work and general nothingness to report upon.
On the other hand I have got what I bet a lot of people would kill me for .........sleep. Today I only got up so that I could go back to bed for a nap!!!!! Oh the luxury . Read a book, watch TV and am considering doing the washing...but I don't feel compelled to do the washing!!!!
I do have the whole Hornblower series calling me!!!!!! I have had about 17 hours sleep and I bet that is more than enough to stay up all night watching the delicious Ioan Gruffudd...whose name is difficult to get your mouth around but I wouldn't mind trying to....wait...no...don't go there that is my other IMAGINARY life......it is much busier and a lot less G rated.
Although the kids are having their "personal development" sessions at the moment so the room is abuzz with whispered questions which are even more embarrassingly scribbled hurriedly on tiny bits of paper and screwed up in tiny little balls and put in the question box for the next session.( tinyness is less embarrassing apparently) So at the moment nothing is G rated ...especially any sentence using words like balls ( good luck at PE everyone) and we WON'T be discussing pianists this week even accidentally unless I want 45 mins of slightly hysterical giggling !!!!! The girls are the most shell shocked because they can see the ramifications of a lot of the information already. They walked round the oval talking all lunch time and some required a hug after lunch. The boys played footy...and have no questions...and certainly dont want a hug!!!!!!
But even my girls aren't thinking Ioan Gruffudd, Sean Bean, Captain Archer( divorced but not forgotten) and David Tennant when we dutifully chant the "proper names" for body parts.. ..although some of them are showing a decided interest in the very cute Dr Who since they have become instant Dr Who fans in the last few weeks. My screen saver is gaining popularity now that they actually know some of the people on it.
So I do have a life .....never mind...I can ignore it for another day and delve into the creaky, salty, sea faring life of Hornblower...I'm off for a little bit of Aye Aye Sir.
Anchors away!!!!!!!

Sulking

I tried to blog.
I failed to blog
Now I sulk.
Always resort to something you are really good at.

Responsible Adult Required.

Oh dear...at times like these I realise that I shouldn't be in charge of anything , or anyone, important.
I was doing that icky and important job of ridding the fridge of the slimy and indescribable , picking up all the rejected mail , envelopes , and assorted bits off the bench and moving 3 book cases and their contents (why do one job well when you can do several badly) And there came a point when I realised that I had made THIS....

Yes...my response to healthy eating messages which bombard me daily...I made a bowl of lollies.
As I was on the phone to 2paw at the time we were able to laugh at my automatic response....because the bags containing fruit were still lying untouched where I left them 4 days ago!!!!!!
Now I have made this..... to set a better example and to give the fruit a nice place to moulder and return to their more basic elements...green slime and gunk.

So as well as the bowl arranging I also made this.

But in order to make the nice tidy ( nightmare for the cleaner to dust...but that's not my problem mwah ha ha haaaaaaaa) display al la Better Homes and Gardens......

I also made this mess...which I am temporarily fixing by closing the door. Out of sight etc

Pity friends are coming to stay in this bed at the weekend...they may find it a tad lumpy!!!!