Not Safe To Be Let Out Alone

Ah the lovely feeling of a stolen day off.
Show Day…what a gem of a day in the middle of a frantic week. I won’t bore you with the details but….Learn To Swim features heavily and only getting the class for 2 x 45 mins sessions before lunch each day makes a mss of any major teaching plans.
( Admittedly so does a day off!!!!!)
The much up to the learning program isn’t the worst bit…the bus sickness is!!!!! Not the kids….ME.
I am not a good traveller in that sense and having to supervise on the bus by either turning around or getting up and …heaven forbid…WALKING down the bus as the scenery goes by in the wrong direction……..spew making.
Luckily the kids are being pretty good ( apart from the fact that today the boys played water bombs with their swimming caps in the showers…they are going to be unhappy if I have to go in and supervise their shower next lesson….the threat is there!!!!!)

And now …for your amusement…my latest journey into the land of stupidity. This doesn’t involve food…it is of the Jonathon Creek locked door mystery kind.
I was talking on the phone …as is often the case.
It was a very interesting discussion with 2paw…as is often the case….and so I mixed up a spray bottle of Round up so I could go and do some gardening ( yes yes….I can hear all the green fingered readers freaking out……but there are only 2 ways to deal with the blackberries and ivy growing through from next door….brute force and POISON!!!!!)
So there I was, wandering around deep in discussion spraying toxic mixture liberally about the place. I worked my way along the fence line and to the carport, sprayed the grass growing through the drive way……and as the bottle was empty and the call waiting beeps were going I said goodbye to 2paw and tried to get the second call…and failed.
Perfectly normal situation.
“Never mind”, I thought “I will go inside and have a cuppa” ( well….a cuppa wine)
I get to the front door…..locked.
“Bugger” I thought “ I have foolishly locked my self out of the house.”
“Never mind” my sensible side said…”you have a cunningly hidden key out side …you can let your self in.”
Find key…..unlock door….. only to discover I had bolted it from the inside.
“Four weddings and a funeral” I said to myself. “four four four four four”
How the hell did I do that and more importantly how am I going to get back in??????? I’m not exactly built like a cat burglar (elephant burglar, witchety grub burglar, unfit rotund middle aged moronic woman burglar perhaps)
“I’ll have to break a window” I thought. “Break a window, climb in and then deal with the broken glass.”
“How stupid I am” I kept thinking as I was wondering which window would be cheapest to break.
Note that I would rather break a window than ring someone to somehow break down the door or hacksaw through the bolt.
Suddenly it occurred to me just how stupid I was being…….how could I have bolted myself out accidentally?????
It is the weakest Agatha Christie style mystery every to have been written.
I am a fool.
I had gone out the back door. It was wide open to the world.
Any self respecting burglar would have been inside nicking my telly while I was pottering about with a poison bottle ( did I mention I was wearing my slippers???) chatting on the phone like a demented fool.
So I am inside.
I may just go to bed…..it might be safer.